If you are not happy and are experiencing emotional pain, it is because a deep desire and value of yours is not a reality. Don’t let anyone tell you to forget the pain and just look at the positives in hopes that the sadness will disappear. Rather, appreciate, count and be grateful to all the blessings in your life AND welcome the pain as a means to change the reality that is causing it.
Then, call upon Allah! Present it to Allah with truthfulness that comes from an aching heart seeking peace and tranquility. Repent for the sins and shortcomings that might have led you to this sadness. Use His names and attributes. Use the name AlFattah as He is the Opener. Beg Him to open the doors that are locked from you so you may see with an open heart and clear mind. Don’t lose hope because you are or feel incapable. Allah AlQadeer, The Most Able is capable. He alone can make you able.
Ask Him, to strengthen your heart with patience like He did for the mother of Musa as she threw her infant in a dark chest in a moving river. Can you imagine how this mother felt as she threw her child? Ask Him to send down His Sakinah (tranqulity) on your heart like He did for Muhammad (saw) and Abu Bakr when the Quraysh was about to capture them with the intention of killing them. Abu Bakr RA tells us that he looked and acted frantically with fear for the Prophet (saw), can you picture what he looked like before he was supported with the tranquility of Allah?
How blessed are those who despite the pain, fear, worry or sadness they are in, they also feel an immense tranquility bestowed upon them by ArRahman!
How do we gain tranquility despite the pain?
Dhikr, dua, recitation of the Quran, charity, salah and especially, Tahajjud!
A person that dedicates him or herself to the practices that soften the heart and attach it to Allah will certainly be strengthened with certainty of Allah, reliance on Him and gratitude towards Him. What I personally love is how when we commit to these acts of worship and dedicate ourselves to them, we are in the company of Allah. When you are in the company of Allah, what fear, worry or sadness can overwhelm your heart? Won’t your companion rescue you when you are in dire need?
One of my teachers, Sh. Muhammad Alshareef, teaches that Allah will answer ‘all’ your duas. Yes, all. Nothing is impossible with Allah correct? Since I am a regular attendee of his Visionaire program, a friend once called me to ask about it and this friend was in deep pain because of the delay of something she had a strong desire for. She said to me that it wasn’t wise that the shaykh was advertising his program in such a way because certain things in life are simply never granted and it can set people up with false hope.
Sometimes, we all reach a state where we tell ourselves perhaps our dream will never become true! We cease to believe that they are actually possible. Who benefits from our state of despair?
What I find reassuring however, is how in the Quran Allah beautifully displays stories of desperate duas being answered even when the answer seemed impossible. How can an infant in a chest survive in a river? How do barren women in extremely old age have children for the first time? How is the dream of Yusuf alayhi assalam realized after decades of painful separation from his father and family? How is Ayub alayhi assalam cured from a deadly disease and walk away strong, as if never harmed by an illness or loss? How does Muhammad (saw) and his few companions survive the Hijra and come back victorious in less than 10 years? Dua and certainty make the impossible happen. If dua moved a rock for three men stuck in a cave, won’t the Rabb who moved that rock move your rock too?
Appreciate your pain and be grateful to it for it will lead you to be desperate in your dua.
“Be like the young child who will continue to cry to his parents until they give in to what he wants. If your Rabb has not answered your dua yet, then continue crying to Him.” Sirri AlSiqti
And when you are done making dua and feeling the pain, close your eyes and imagine the bliss of having what your heart deeply desires as Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala will soon grant it to you. Smile, laugh, rejoice in the middle of your tears.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنْ تَنْصُرُوا اللَّهَ يَنْصُرْكُمْ وَيُثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَكُمْ
“O you who believe! If you support Allah, He will support you, and will strengthen your foothold.” Muhammad: 7